Canadian Death Race 2008

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. ~Ivy Baker Priest

I am back from the Canadian Death Race 2008, I joined 223 soloist and 182 teams for what it turn out to be the hardest race I have done. To downplay the race to seem modest is a disrespect to the 81 soloist that finished me included and also to all the racers who tried but had to drop out of the race because of injuries or missing cutout times.

Of the 223 soloist only 81 finished, and out of the 81 only 8 where female. Jack Cook from Edmonton smoked the course again, he is the course record holder and he finished first overall at 13:56:13, the fastest female was Diane Van Deren from Sedalia USA, her finish time was 17:16:22. To my surprise I finished 30th overall, 4th female and first on my age group at 20:44:14 even though it was posted I was third on my age group, I was awarded 1st at the awards ceremony to my delight.

I was nervous coming into the race, after all this is the race that started it all, exactly one year ago I came home from Grand Cache sore, beaten, but in love with ultrarunning and trail running. Last year I didn't finished, but I went a lot farther I had ever gone before.

When I signed for the race last year, I didn't know about ultrarunning. It had been a year after Karl was diagnosed with cone rod dystrophy and I was devastated,it's a hereditary condition so it has to run in families, when the doctor asked about my family history all I could think was that my grandfather had been blind, different condition but who knows that was Mexico 40 years ago. The following week I started running, I remember wanting to run until my skin came off. In less than a year I had a son who was diagnosed with an incurable condition, I had lost my job, and I was single and heartbroken. There at home unable to sleep I tried to find a race for the summer, I started running with my best friend Nadia to qualify for Boston, something I did accomplished but Boston was longways away, I needed something to do for the summer. I found the Death Race, doing some research about ultras, I came upon an article about ultrarunner Mimi Anderson of the UK, she was part of a small group of female ultrarunners that the media calls "Brave Girls" feeling vulnerable at that moment,is exactly what I wanted to be,brave to face the challenges that lay ahead.

After just one more year I am please to tell you that things have changed significantly, while there is still no cure for cone dystrophy, I just saw an article about medication being use for macular degeneration, is in the same family of disease so I am very hopeful. I have a great job where everybody is very supportive, my family and best friend are there for me and of course I met the most amazing man in the world, Brett Wilson, before you go an google him let me do a shameless promotion of his TV show, he is the new Dragon on CBC's Dragons Den

I have know of Brett for quite sometime, and in Calgary who doesn't, I was apprehensive about going out with him after sparks flew when we finally met in person at his Garden Party, after all he is the Canadian version of Richard Branson, I have always admire his charisma and how brilliant he is in business and at marketing but I am more private about my life ( except now I guess is rubbing off)but the Brett I fell for was the one who took me to the children's hospital to visit Eugene, a friend of his son Russell. Eugene is battling cancer, Brett himself being a prostate cancer survivor wanted to stop by and see him and his mom, there in the hospital, talking about soccer with this bald teenage and making him smile, I watched his mom's face relax for a second, I could see the exhaustion on her face, but she was at that moment delighted to see her son smile and talked about something he loved, sports. when we left the hospital my doubts where gone, sure I might see him on the paper jumping off an hot air balloon wearing a wedding gown in protest of domestic violence but that is part of who he is and I love it.

Brett also emailed John Bobenic CEO of Maxim Power, he contacted the local power plant in Grand Cache Milner Power and before long I had a support crew




Alta Ball of Milner Power turned out to be amazing, she was through and meticulous. I drove with my nieces Karla and Brenda who are visiting from Mexico and by the time I arrived in Grand Cache 7 hrs later she had everything organized for me. We met after picking up my race package to go over the details, basically told her to treat me like a spoil child who won't eat her veggies, to prevent hypothermia I needed her to make sure she fed me well during transitions. As it turned out we had a lot in common, she had been a runner but because of arthritis she had to quit running, her ex husband also happen to be legally blind with the same condition as my son, well, I know my sister Muneca is going to have a field day with this one, even I can't just write it off as a mere coincidence. WE had a heart to heart talk, she worries about her kids who don't have any symptoms but since is a disorder that is pass down on the genes they are all aware of the risks. I was glad to tell her that even if her kids would be OK, with the support of friends, family, the community and associations such as the CNIB kids like Karl have the same opportunities as fully sighted kids. Harder? sure but not impossible.

Race day I stood there at the start line, chatting with Neil Runnions, Logan Beaulieu, Jack Cook, John Postoluk, I was part of the group, the tough guys knew me and accepted me. Then out of nowhere strangers started approaching me to wish me good luck, they all referred to me as the Mexican running wild, they told me they where fans of my blog. It was a bit overwhelming and humbling.

At 8am the gun went off, the first leg was an easy 19k with amazing and breath taking scenery, it was a relatively cool day so running felt great.




Leg 2 was a lot trickier, 27K of very technical and very slippery.I spent more time on my butt trying not to break my legs than I did running, by now it started to rain so it got more and more complicated as it when along.

Leg 3 is the easiest, since is the flattest of all the legs, this is where I tried to make most of my time, I am terrible at climbing but decent at running downhill.

Leg 4 is what nightmares are made off, the net elevation is well over 6,500 feet. This is where Neil Runinion caught up to me, we have a friendly competition since he is better than I am at climbing so it depends on the design and elevation of the course he might or might not finished ahead of my, last Saturday was his lucky day, he managed to finished at 19:08;28.I loved it when the next morning over breakfast he told me he had run scared the last leg, he was worry I was going to eventually catch up to him. At leg 4 my spirits where still high but I was feeling exhausted, I came into the last transition area before the finish line at 12 midnight, Alta, her kids and my nieces where there to cheer me on, Brett tried calling from Nashville but coverage was sporadic. Last year I was pulled out of the race because of hypothermia just before transition 5, I was very tired but I only had 25K to go, piece of cake, right?

I never expected leg 5 to be as hard as it was, I thought after leg 4 we where going to be treated to an easy jog into town to roll in with some dignity, instead I stared over and over again to yet an other climb "How many mountains and hills Grand Cache has anyways?'

I took me over 4 and half hours to finished leg 5, quitting never crossed my mind but I wanted to be done badly, I kept straining my eyes to find a light, any light something that might resembled town lights, instead except for a few team racers that passed me it was complete darkness.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Tough at it was, I loved the race,the whole town of Grand Cache came to cheer us, most of the ultras I go to, might be a couple hundred of racers and their families only, here people came to cheer on complete strangers. I greatly recomend this race, specially if you are a female. I heard that the tough girls club was looking for more members...

I came home with a silver Death Race coin and a small plaque engraved with my name, time and place, this is the only thing I displayed openly in my house, on top of the mantel piece there are numerous awards my kids have received but mine are tucked away in my bedroom.

This award doesn't just mean I finished a 125K, that itself is amazing, but what it really means is that the human spirit is amazing about coping with adversity if you overcome your fears and keep placing one foot in front of the other until you will eventually reach the finish line. Quit to soon and you might never know how far you are truly capable of going.

Sinister 7 Ultra

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. Ambrose Redmoon

I am back from the Sinister 7 135K ultra, held in beautiful Crowsnest Pass. The race went better than I expected given that it was promoted as the thoughest ultra in the Alberta Ultra Series. The race did live it up to it's reputation, of the 52 soloist only 21 finished.


Rachel and Craig dropped me off at Blairmore for the start while they took my car to go mountain biking. At 9 am sharp we all started the first leg and easy 15k with only 740" of elevation. This is where I usually catch up with other runners, I stayed behind admiring the beautiful surroundings, it was hard for me to speed up because of the spectacular scenery.

Leg two was a grueling climb, the scenery at the top of Hastings Ridge was worth the effort,with a 457m of elevation gain and 607m of elevation loss, it made for a very fast run to the transition area. I am good at running downhill, I am more coordinated than most runners, I think is my dancing background. By the time I got to transition I was considerably ahead. I checked my watched and wondered how Nadia was doing, she was running Powderface half a very difficult and technical trail run, she was second female last year and she had trained very hard this year and was hopping for top female, what I would found out later is that she DNF because of an injury.





Leg three has the most elevation gain, at 838m I keep thinking I suck at climbing even though hardly anybody passed me, the leg crosses though the remains of the 2003 Lost Creek fire, by now my body was warm and I was making really good time though each leg I started to get faster and faster. Rachel and Craig met me at the end of leg 3, they wanted to say goodnight, they where tired from mountain biking and decided to go back to the hotel but would be back in the morning on time to greet me at the finish line. It was here too that they told me I was second female




Leg four is the longest leg at 31.5k, I ditched my poles in transition 3 ( a decision I would later regret) to be faster and put as much distance between Anne the female lead and I, we left transition at the same time and she was quickly falling behind. By the time I finish this leg I was in the lead, I came into transition and was greeted by a complete stranger holding a cup with mash potatoes " I heard you are here alone, I thought you might need this" the first thing that came out of my mouth was " marry me" he blushed and giggle a bit like a teenage girl. As I was leaving transition 4 I realize that leaving my hiking polls behind was not the best decision, at the rate I was going I was tracking for 22 hrs, which meant I would be running in the dark for the next 5 hours.




Well I know sometimes it's hard to see the light, Shinin' at the tunnel's end
And though the road just goes on and on for miles, Faith lives just around the bend. Keith Urban

leg 5 was the thoughest for sure, it was hard to run through creeks and mud without poles, I slipped and fell on a couple of creeks around 2am. For the next 3 hours my pace dropped significantly and I started to feel really cold, this leg has a hard climb and I had a hard time coordinating my legs. 3 runners passed me including Annie who would go on to finish top female and 4th over all at 22:23:21.Darren Froese was top male at 17:13:53. the fast Trax Team won top team at 12:26:38.
when I got to the top, the wind was howling,and I had a strong urged to lay down and sleep. Just 20 Minutes, that is what I though myself, I remember I had chocolate covered coffee beans and warming packs in my backpack. The warmers worked but not the coffee beans, I immediately started to throw up, and continued to do so for the next hour and a half . Walking in the dark was aerie but, I felt peaceful and focused. I could hear whistles everywhere from racers that needed help. Calling for help never crossed my mind. I realized I am both my best asset and worst enemy. I take some bad decisions, like leaving my poles behind knowing I would need them later, just to gain ground during the day, but there in the evening, I was remained calm, I knew all I needed to do at that moment was to reach transition safely, I was not going to be first, and I was OK with it, finishing was my next focus and that was still a very strong possibility. Just like with every race I get stronger physically, I also get stronger emotionally, I am also in the best place of my life currently and that helps me be less emotional and more rational. The sound of whistles where all around me but I didn't see anybody else for hours, later I heard somebody stole marking sings and a lot of people got lost, I did have to wait for other races to figure out where to turn several times because they would be no markings, at night it just got really though to figure out where to go.

I thought I was close to transitions after I started hallucinating, I was so sure I even heard laughter and the campfire and tents, walking for 10 minutes just to find it was just a glow stick. when I finally got to transition 5 I was in bad shape, shivering and a bit delirious, the meds did a good job of bringing me back to life, because I had stopped drinking their main priority after warming me up was fluids.

The race allowed a drop bag per leg, specially for soloist without help, the trick was to know where to send what. To my delight, I did have a change of shoes there for me,somebody gave me a dry t shirt and within 30 minutes, I was back in the game.

As soon as I started running I started to get sick again, and it was coming from everywhere, I remembered I had ginger chews and medication on my backpack, that helped and by the time I finished leg 6 the vomiting had stopped. I probably run an extra 2k en leg six running into the bushes. I was wearing my running skit but it wasn't exactly lady like.



Leg 7 was a brutal climb and equally challenging descent before turning into a beautiful and fast stretch to the finish line.


I reached the finish line at 24:43:09, 2nd female and 8th overall. As I crossed the line, Brian the race director put a medal around my neck then informed me Brett was calling to follow my progress, he got frustaded because the reeults of each leg where too late, I both blushed and cried at the same time when Brian told me. Knowing that there was somebody in Calgary awake thinking of me while I stubbornly pushed trough the night is really what gave me the will to not call for help and to suck it up.

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. Mahatma Gandhi


In ultrarunning, running is 50%, determination, endurance, thoughness, or just plain stubborness account for the rest. Kids have a natural tendency to follow though, just watch a child learning to walk, I have yet to meet grown up that crawls because it took him or her to long to learn to walk and just decided to quit. The Japanese have a proverb Nana korobi ya oki Fall Down Seven times Get up Eight.
I get asked often how can running such distance is possible, physically is easy with the right training, now, wanting to do it, that is the hard part. The wanting was the easy part for me, I just hope that my body can handle my dreams

Racing the Planet

“If you want to make something happen, you have to be outrageous. You have to go beyond what is acceptable. Unwillingness to do that is the biggest risk of all.” Mike Vance

As I am getting ready for the Sinister 7 I also found out I also will be competing at the Sahara Race October 26- Nov 1, which coincidentally is my birthday, Can't imagine a better way to spend my birthday than to run 250K.I am now talking to a few people about sponsorship since this is not a race I can just car camp,is looking promising but I am crossing my fingers just in case.

The race is a bit ahead of schedule, OK a lot, but this is how I am going to accomplish it.
I am going to keep running my usual mileage, 60-80 miles per week while adding hiking and power walking with a 22 lbs. backpack, and/ or biking for about an hour.This way I am increasing my endurance while avoiding injuries, I am already exercising about 4 hours a day. Good news, I am still feeling pretty good, bad news I still don't look like Madonna, even worse news, my house is a mess.


Why do it? besides raising awareness for the CNIB, I can't imagine living my life any other way. The thrill, the adventure, the adrenaline,the pain, they all remind me I am alive. I have found myself in these journey that when I go to bed at night I am excited for the next day to come.

The sacrifices are big but I am convince these next few years will bring inner peace and self acceptance that is only found when you are enlighten. Phew, kind of heavy, time to phone Oprah. With out kidding, is there ever been a time that you where so certain of something you forget your inhibitions and your perception of what is possible streches so far you can almost touch the sky? if not it might be time to do something that intimidates you.

Sinister 7 race is just around the corner, I will be running 135K and I think I will be finish it in around 25 1/5 hours giving the terrain. Rachel a co worker of mine and her boyfriend will be my support. They are hard core mountain bikers and they will just move my race bag from check point to check point while they bike in the nearby area. All I ask from them is a nice cup of coffee around 4am!. Rachel will be writing a mountain bike area report for me to post here. The race is located in Crossness Pass by Blairmore, a beautiful area and I am sure we will both have fantastic pictures to post too, because is Stampede in Calgary I might be running the race with a cowboy hat.

Until next week, now move away from the computer and go try something new.

Fast Trax Ultra

Well is been almost a week since I participated in The Fast Trax Ultra last Saturday. I decided to wait until they posted the results to give a proper race result. Usually I am aware of how my race went, or sometimes I don't even care. This time I decided to stick around to the end.

Fist I should tell you more about the days leading up to, if only because I like talking and second because I truly believe it had everything to do with the race results for me.

Days leading to the race I decided to buy a GPS Garmin StreetPilot c550, just to avoid being late again. Also I found a participant for the 50K that wanted to carpool from Calgary. I was a bit worry since I was concerned about my music taste which is eclectic to say the least, not all Latin music is sexy, specially if it is mariachi music. Zoltan a young guy on his way to Edmonton on what it was his first ever ultra and I drove on Friday around noon. I had told him to bring his i pod to take turns with the music. When it was his turn I quickly realized his taste was around Enya( is she still making music?) And ambience music (think waterfalls and wind chimes) his turn never came, and it reinforced why I am still single, I am bad a compromising.

We arrived at the campground 5 hours later. I was not feeling well, I didn't taper for the race since I am suppose to get stronger, I also found out I was registered on the 50 miler not the 50K as I originally intended. I went to bed early but when I got to go to the bathroom, it was so cold that my legs cramped right out. The next few hours where distant memories of fever and painkillers. I woke up three hours later not sure if I was going to be able to run.

We arrived at the race, I decided to keep the 50 mile instead of changing it to the 50k, and since that distance always have the biggest number of participants. In my mind as long as I took it easy and aimed to finish, I was going to be OK.

The race was at Godlbar Park and it was a 10K loop, I was supposed do 8 loops and a bit since it's a bit more than 80K. At 6 am we all started, I stayed behind, for most of the race, Petra Graen lapped me twice to win the 50K race first overall at 3:43:34, Wayne Gaudet was second and fist male at 4:08:16. At 45K I was still third last overall and even Rick Webb and Carmen Pavelich who would eventually win the 100k race at 8:07:55 and 9:59:44 lapped me. This is the first time on a race where the words of encourage where, “come on, pick it up”, ' You can do it"," show us what you got", but I just didn't want to risk injuring myself. I kept a pretty conservative pace for the first 45k. Then something amazing happened, I started to gain on the people ahead of me, I was going slow enough that i didn’t need walking breaks, by the time I crossed the checkpoint at 50K I feel good enough to pick up the pace, my hamstring was tight but not hurting. Armed with Ibuprofen, I decided to kick my pace and avoid stopping at the aid stations, the next 30K I barely slow enough to grab a bottle of water or perpetuem that was conveniently mixed in a bottle. By the time I reached 57K I passed the female lead of the 50 miler and I managed to unlapped myself from Carmen. At this point there where a lot of people slowing down but I was feeling just fine.

I miraculously finish top female at 8:38:27 and second overall behind Logan Beulieu whose winning time was 7:35:11.

The moral, pacing does work, at least this time it did. I don’t know if the outcome would have been the same if I had speed up ahead with everybody else. I do have to say it's hard to stay behind, especially since it was a loop course and I got to see everybody that was ahead of me each time they turned around. Sure they high five me, at one point I decided to play my music mariachi and all loud enough for me to just tune out and listen to my body.

Jack Cook of Fast Trax did a wonderful job at his second Ultra. It was perfect weather and the flat course meant 5 times where improved over last years times included mine. Jack is applying host the National 100km Championships in conjunction with the 50km and 50mile events. Edmonton is a great city to host sports events. I was lucky to participate in the World Masters Games in Edmonton in 2005 for Triathlon and I was impressed on the venues and the quality of the volunteers.

I want to thank Peter Lubbers for the help. I emailed him panicking last minute because I was unsure I was training smart. He not only reassured me, he also wrote a detail plan for me to follow :- )

Banff Trail Trash: Blackfoot Ultra Weekend - Race Report

Banff Trail Trash: Blackfoot Ultra Weekend - Race Report

Blackfoot Ultra 100k

On the weekend I had the pleasure of running the Blackfoot Ultra 100k. I joined over 300 runners, I was late to the party so I am not sure of the exact numbers. I knew it was going to be a great race the moment I kept asking the locals for an estimated travel time to the race site and nobody knew what trail I was talking about, that told me it must be relatively undiscovered trail. The directions I printed from the website said that the estimated travel time from Sherwood Park, East of Edmonton was about 30 minutes. I decided to leave my hotel about an hour ahead. I was driving slower than usual on the quiet highway at 4:10am just to make sure I didn't miss the turn, about 40 minutes I saw the Blackfoot Park turn sign and I was relieve I still had 10 minutes to go, when I got to the gate of the park I was surprise to find out that the park was dark and empty except for a single vehicle parked, the windows where all steamed, not a great sign, but I was lost,it was so early in the morning and I hadn't seen other cars on the road nearby so I had to bite the bullet and got out of my car to ask for help with directions.
when I approached the vehicle, the passengers where already dressed to my relieve, when I got closer I could see that there where to guys in their early thirties, I tried not to make to much eye contact while I explained that I was lost and I needed their help, who am I to judge, there where two consenting adults,the only bit surprise is when I saw the wedding band on the guy on the driver side, but I quickly remembered that in Canada, two man can legally married,once more to stop myself from making quick judgements. what they told me was that I was at the right park but the wrong entrance " this is the north entrance you need to be on the south, go back to the highway and keep going for about 15 more minutes". Not good, I was now sure I was going to be late, I was worried, but since the race also had 50 mile race, 50k and 25k, all starting at a later time depending on the distance, I told myself I was going to run something for sure.

I got the the race and it was already underway, the worst part is not explaining that you are a participant, and yes, I am late and BTW I also need my race package. Well, is not what a race director wants to hear, I think what ticked her the most was to hear that I had never done it before " Well, you better run hard, you can't be alone and risk you getting lost" I tried lightening the mood," well, is a 100k, how fast can they be running anyway?" well, apparently, fast enough. It took me about 10 minutes to catch up to them, I quickly found a group that was running a pace that I fund was the right one for me, I had a great time meeting new people and the loop seemed to go fast because the conversation and the scenery where great. That work for about the first 25K then I hit the proverbial wall.

The course was design on a 25k loop, the 100k runners did 4 loops, the 50 milers 3 loops, and so forth,The next 25k where not good, I started to fall behind for no apparent reason, I just simply couldn't keep up. I slowed down because I knew it was the only way I was going to survive and everybody started to pass me, a lady caught up to me and slowed down to my pace to chat. She was a nice lady from Edmonton, 52 years old and looked very fit, the sun was now peaking and it was getting warmer, " I am getting to hot now" she said " it seem to be the story of my life recently" " I know" I replied, " it can't be, you are to young dear" she added looking straight at me. " Well, I am not that young, I am 40 but because I have been over training I am hot all the time, sometimes I wake up and I feel like I am feverish" I replied, trying to share my connections. " That could be early menopause" she added with out a hint of sarcasm " I was in my 40's when it started, 46 to be exact" at that moment I had the strong urge to retie my shoes, since I knew I didn't have it in me to speed up, plus did I mention I am JUST 40!. I ended up running alone for most of the loop after that, 25k at a slow pace can be a long time, which it can be good or bad depending on your spirit. There I figure that ultras are a lot like a marriage, you need a strong foundation and an even stronger commitment to be successful at it. Luckily for me I had both so quitting was really not what I thought but it was more on the lines of does it really matter that I am here giving it all when I am so far back from the real race? It was on this lap that I hear that Jack Cook the leader was clocking 1:20min/lap, I coudn't shake that though, all I could hope for was a 2:45/loop, even on a perfect day!.


If ultras are like a marriage the honeymoon phase was oven and I was knee deep taking care of my inner voice, who now resembled more a child in its terrible twos, " I am hungry",' I am thirsty", "I need to go to the bathroom" " Are we there yet?" still, I just kept placing one foot in front of the other. Then something wonderful happen, I just simply felt better, the whole reason for being here was because I wanted to, after all it hasn't been easy to find the time or energy to train but I want to do it so badly that I had always managed, as for not being fast enough, who really cares? even at a 5k I will never have a change of winning anyways so why was I making such a big deal out of it here? and that is not what I teach my kids, why was I treating my inner child like that. the only reason why this even crossed my mind is because it was a loop course, eventually I was going to be lapped by the winners.


I took this time to really take in my surrounding and take some pictures, and to make my day even brighter, I remember that I had never run 100k before, that alone was a celebration. I finish my second lap and I was feeling fantastic, I rushed to to my car to refuel, since I missed the bag drop the the aid station I had to go to to my car for extra food and gels and to change shoes since my La sportiva Fireblades were not working that day, I put on my Montrail Vitesse and it was like magic, is amazing what the right shoes and a bit of caffeine will do after 50k. The next two loops where the easiest, I decide to drink less fluid and eat only at the aid stations, since I was alone on the race, the volunteers became my family, every time I came around they all cheer me on, they knew my name because I was the infamous late runner, but by now they wheren`t mad at me anymore.

I was having so much fun, I decided to run my own race and enjoy it.That was all I needed to remind myself, just like you should never compare your marriage to anybody elses you should never compare your race to other runners. I used me to gauge how fast or slow I should go and instead of relaying on salt tablets or electrolyte replacements, I used the aid station snacks to provide the salt and calories I needed and It worked like a charm. Sometimes what we need to make things work is something simple like a warm cup of coffee, some chicken noodle soup or the right words spoken at the right moment.

I just finish reading Pam Reed`s autobiography the extra mile, and I can tell you one thing, if I where to write a memoir it will never be like hers, there will be no glory, no podium not TV interviews no article on a running magazine, but that doesn`t matter, all I ever aspire to be in this sport is to be a finisher of many other races I plan on being part of it. I can`t tell you my finish time or what place I took at Blackfoot Ultra, but it didn`t matter to me, I enjoyed myself I talked to a lot o great people, I had a chance of meeting Leslie, one of the coolest girls on the planet and hot too, I fail to tell her that how amazing she really is when she introduced herself, I was just savouring the moment, I had accomplish what a had set to do that day and that was to finish my first 100k. I felt great and that matter too, I don`t know how many times I hear- the that can`t be good for you - comment and as long I am healthy I get to enjoy what I am doing guilt free. Leslie race account is always inspiring, and her pictures are just fantastic, plus there is one of me at the finish line, so check it out here.

I Norma take thee...
Driving back home that evening, I realize that sometimes the best thing we can do is to not quit, to have realistic expectations and to enjoy life for what it truly is a journey not a destination.

The future depends on what we do in the present. - Mahatma Gandhi

Is hard for me to write today. After much thinking about I decided to go ahead and blog after all my running is a way for me to bring awareness, I owe it to all the parents that I connect that are dealing with blindness and visual impairment, like my online friend blind swan who is a mother of two children both who have the same condition as my son and she is dealing with the same things except is affecting both of her kids.

When there is a high there is a low, trail running have showed me that, Karl’s condition is progressing and everyday when I wake up I feel like I can hear a loud ticking sound, I am unable to stop it and it takes every ounce of my being tor try and find the strength to answer truly when he asks if I think he will be able to drive someday. Last week I dropped him at school and a teacher asked me to come in, for what I thought was a quick meeting about the school family dance or something like that, instead I was met with all of Karl’s teachers, they thought it might be better to talk to me in person instead of sending a note. They are all worried because he is struggling with the things he was OK a few moths ago, they order more equipment for him to be proactive but I needed to get him to the Children’s Hospital again to see where he is at, the truth is, is hard not to notice, I had made the appointment already, I have seen him climb imaginary stairs when he misjudge the distance of where they truly are. I have sense that things aren’t good, but I always want to think that I am just being over protective; talking to his teachers I realize that I am not. In the big spectrum he is still OK, he still have a lot of his vision left, but every time things change, it becomes apparent that the beast is very much alive.

Now there are a lot of emotions that one must go though, I feel embarrassed because this is not as serious as an illness where people must battle with their lives, but he is my son and it hurts tremendously. For mother’s day we all run the Forzani’s Mothers Day Run 5K together, when we got to the start line the sun was so strong and bright Karl had trouble walking so I tied my arm to his to guide him with motion as well as my voice, it worked, at about 1k he got into a rhythm and we managed to finish at 41 minutes, Hans, Lukas and Noah finish at 32 minutes. I was so proud of my kids, I felt a lot better, and I know that even though things will change, we are always going to find a way.

Things are much better now, it takes a lot of digging deep to put things into perspective, I would love to sit and cry and think, why? But that is not going to help me or my kids, is better to put my energy on trying to find a way to deal with situations in a positive way than to dwell out how unfair life is.

I believe we all have the lives we deserve. What I mean when I say that is not that we deserve divorces, sick kids, or unfulfilled jobs. What I mean is that we are all given challenges along the way, is how we choose to deal with them that separate us all; I am going to make sure that I take ownership of my actions moving forward. Is it hard? You betcha, as a single parent alone I feel that if my life was a movie, I will spend half of the movie on a raft in the middle of the ocean trying to get my kids and I to shore while paddling frantically with a spoon, when Karl was diagnosed well, I felt my spoon turned into a fork. But don’t feel sorry, Karl is doing fantastic, he is a bit sad when things changes, but he always manage to be happy and isn’t that what is all about? I want my kids to be happy. As for me, I find happiness as long as I know I am dealing with things in a positive way, what once intimidated me now is not a big deal, I am ready for my first 100 miler, and Brazil? I am only sorry is not happening sooner. I was invited to the luncheon for the CNIB, I am starting to put my son on the map as well as linking the business affluent community about what low vision and blindness is, standing there I vowed to help find a cure, I often hear kind words from people who I know that are not dealing with this , on how I have to be realistic, they haven’t found the cure to AIDS or cancer after all , but none of that matter, I am determine that my son will see the face of the woman he will fall in love, until he looses his sight completely that will be my focus. Is no accident that I chose ultrarunning to bring awareness to this, I remember reading about Brazil 135, the race takes place in an area is called “the path of faith”, the answer to my question on how was I going to deal with this in a positive way was never more obvious.