" When everything seems to be coming your way, you might just be in the wrong lane"

How are you? how about now? I have been very sick lately and with my new job my kids back at school and training, I have become as mythical as Bigfoot.During Christmas it seemed as was everywhere, but now,I am most often found at home. Lately I feel over exposed, I am just glad to be home with my kids or out on a trail with my bff Nadia snowshoeing. Nadia and I if you haven't met us, we are like Oprah and Gail with out the gay rumors, at least I don't think there are any, but that will explain why I have more male fiends than females and why some people will not return my call.

We where out for the first time together last Sunday to Moose Mountain. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and we had a great time together

I haven't been feeling well so I was glad that she was making all the talking, I was struggling to keep up with her uphill, nothing raised flags, you know the usual, but I guess she was wondering that since I wasn't talking something was up. " I am fine you know"" the kids are great, I love my new job, it pays my bills, I really for the first time, can't complain" " really" she said still not convinced, " I guess, I am surrendering to my life after all" " But where do you see yourself in I don't know 10 years" she added still not convinced.

The greatest thing about snowshoeing is that is tiring enough that with that short conversation both of us greeted silence with relieve. The problem with surrendering is that it looks a lot like giving up and no friend wants that for a friend, embracing yes, giving up hope, no.

I do have to admit that even a best friend will be concern when she will get a call from me Friday night and saying " You are going to be so jealous" " Do tell" at that moment for the tone of her voice I realized something, my answer was not what she was expecting, then I recalled that this weekend is Robert Kennedy's Waterkeepers weekend at Banff and a lot of celebrities are in town, she was probably thinking I had met someone famous and asked me out. " you know with all this snow that fell today, I can go snowshoeing in Nose Hill park tonight when I take our kids swimming, no need to wait to drive to the mountains" I said now rather embarrassed " I know I am a loser" I added " you are not a loser and yes I am jealous"

The truth is hard to explain why my races mean so much. I am sure that everybody expected things to fade by now but it doesn't work that way. It's ingrained in me and it's hard to let go.

The best possible way to make you understand is to take you back to Mexico, long time ago, when I was 5, I remember asking my mom if I could try for the dance competition. My mom said yes and I am sure it was hard, we didn't have money and being in the dance show meant she had to buy me clothes, never the less she said yes, I got in the dance show but it was a small part and as a boy, my mom aways dressed me as a boy because we couldn't afford new clothes and we only got hand me downs, the girl clothes where for my sisters, "plus you looked better as a boy anyway" she told me when I asked recently.

I remember dancing my heart out for years until one year when I was 9 where I got my first solo part as a girl, my mom of course run to buy me a dress, I remember wearing my dress for the first time, it was white and brand new, she couldn't afford shoes so she bought me white sandals and with white socks underneath, from far away they looked like shoes. I will never forget the feeling, and also watching one of my male cousins cry because until now he assumed he had been playing with a boy, he never talked to me after that. I of course continued to dance, even when people though I should stop, I was a bit to old to be doing that, shouldn't she be out dating? .But dancing got me to a better school, where I continued to dance then eventually to modelling then to TV and then to Japan at age 19 away from poverty and crime in Mexico.That is what I see and feel standing at a race, I see a 9 year old with a brand new white dress. That is all I have ever know, grab a dream and don't let go.

I am excited about racing season, and I bit disappointed, Swiss Jura Marathon might be out, but I still have my hopes, the organizer couldn't wait any longer, I looked at my bank account and decided fixing my roof was a priority. " Please one more month" " no go. you too late" Urs said with what I assume was a very Arnold like accent on his email. $790.00 is a lot of money, I pay for my races, every cent I collect goes to the CNIB but for every dollar I spend I raise 3 so I am happy.

But I did sign for a new race the Blackfoot Ultra 100K and I am thinking about racing 6 out of 7 of the Alberta Ultramarathon series. At $50.00/race they are a bargain. I would like to do all 7 but I am in Europe the month on July. Too bad there is a new ultra race this year, The Sinister Seven
I would love to run this race, 135K in Crossnest Pass, but I am counting on running it next year.

As for the answer of the question Nadia had, by the time we where on our way back down Moose Mountain, I had figure out " Here" I said," Here?" " yes here, I am not sure if you will be here, or my kids, or a boyfriend or by myself but one thing I do know is that I am going to be here, out on the trails ten years from now"

"The starting point of all archivement is DESIRE"

2008 here I come. If the start of the year was any indication of how my year is going to be, I am fully embracing the year to come. On January first I flew to Denver Colorado to try snowshoeing. "Why" that is the question that I heard over and over. All I could think was 'Why not" is it because I am going alone?, or because is cold there? I have no idea why going snowshoeing in Colorado didn't make much sense. I guess I could have done that here in Canmore, but this was New Years, a new beginning. Going to Denver for new years day turn out to be a fantastic adventure. Here is a quick overlook of how my trip went.

I arrived in Denver January 1st and stayed at the Hyatt Tech Center, a beautiful place away from downtown, it was a lot cheaper and very accessible by light rail commuter train, 12 miles to downtown and 1.2 miles from Cherry Creek Trail. A quick google search and two of my runs where decided.


January 3. for my first day I decided to run to downtown and do some shopping along the way. Armed with directions from mapquest I headed North on side streets, stopping at gas stations for snacks and washrooms. The run itself was very quiet one except for a couple of guys on pick up trucks that slowdown while I run to ask me for help finding their puppies, at least that is what I think they where asking, I had my ipod on and they didn't look like runners so I assume they wheren't offering pointers. Arriving downtown 3 hours, 1 lunch, and 2 shopping malls stops later was worth the 12 miles, the architecture was spectacular. I walked around for 2 hours to places such as State Capitol, Civic Center Park, Denver Performing Arts Complex the 16Th Street Mall before heading back the hotel by light rail.

January 4th

Before leaving I had schedule snowshoeing lessons with Denver Adventures. Kevin picked me at the hotel at 9am and headed to Jefferson County. We arrive at Elk Meadow Park. The snow at the bottom of the trail was packed so I didn't need my snowshoes yet, I went ahead of Kevin and started to gain some ground on him. I run ahead and waited for him at intersections, after 30 minutes he handed me a map and told me where to go. he said to go ahead until the snow was to deep to run in. He said the equipment was slowing him down, I offer to carry some and he looked as insulted as if I had offer a date to change his flat tire. Half way Bergen Peak the snow was too deep to run and I waited for Kevin. Strapping on snowshoes for the first time felt like a kid trying on a new bike. after 10 minutes Kevin told me to go ahead once again and to wait for him at the peak. The feeling of running on the snowshoes was of strenght, I was going slower than my usual run but a lot faster than I thought I was going to be. At the peak Kevin and I exchanged some quick snacks, I didn't want to stop to long, I wanted to try running down Bergen Peak on snowshoes. At this point Kevin swallow his ego and handed me the car keys. The freedom! running downhill was so much fun, I got to the bottom and instead of waiting for Kevin at the car I decided to add an other 40 minute loop, and caught up to Kevin 5 minutes before he arrived at the car. Driving back to the hotel 4 hours later, you would have thought we had been friends forever. Kevin and I talked about trail running, he run the mosquito marathon and that is when he got hooked on trail running, he was a single father or 3 and didn't have much time now working two jobs and all.


January 4th

I woke up sore in muscles I didn't knew existed. My calves and quads where killing me. Running on snowshoes forced me to run more on the ball of my feet, sort of chi running, leaning forward. After breakfast I was ready to go to Cherry Creek Trail. The trail is 17 miles of open spaces, once again strapping my snowshoes I felt giddy. I was now running significantly slower than the day before but it felt great to be out there. The weather in Denver is a lot warmer than Calgary, mid to late 30F's. about an hour after my run I stooped at the reservoir where there was a family ice fishing. Snowshoeing is such as a hard work out that at the end of my two hour run, I had hardly any layers on.

After 3 days in Denver, I decided that that is what I wanted for myself for 2008. Booking trips to different destinations is out of my budget but I am lucky to have it all in my backyard. The only difference is that I should book trips overnight not just for the day. It felt great not to have to worry about laundry, kids, house cleaning. After a few days away I run into a person I hadn't seen before, me. Not Norma the mother but the person that can run for hours before heading out for some shopping then dinner and drinks ( I didn't know I had it in me any more, Lindsey Lohan here I come). I thought I might even start a new adventure, the single runner's guide to fun. Traveling alone was more fun that I thought it was going to be. it was unusual for most people, walking to a restaurant and asking for a table for one made people nervous but I felt great. In my short trip I got to meet some fantastic people, and yes I might never see them again but they where a great part of my life for 3 days. Randy the beach volleyball player, Steamboat ( I was afraid to ask why he was called that), Laura the minister, Kevin the single father of 3 and my guide. Traveling alone taught me to live in the moment, to keep my head up and absorb my surrounding. My only regret is not adding more destinations to my trip, like Aspen and Leadville but this will be a great excuse to once again pack my bags and head to the mountains. There where moments of doubts, I did cry once in my long snowshoe run the day before I came back, I started to go over the things I needed to do once I came back home, phone the CNIB and schedule Karl's Braille lessons, phone the Children's hospital to schedule Hans bone scan, Schedule Karl's eye appointment to see how he is progressing. I somehow felt once more overwhelmed. The beauty of long runs is that I have enough time to work through things. There were a lot of great things waiting for me, seeing my kids again, my new job as marketing director, a field I love and that will finally pay enough to pay my bills and fix my leaky basement, the 50K frozen ass race, my friends. I arrived in Calgary to a flat tire at the airport, I had taken my car there, try to find a cab or a friend sober or willing to drive you to the airport at 3am on January 1st. I made an other friend at the gas station as I waited for the tow truck to arrive, the tire key was missing from my car and they had to tow my car to the dealership. Nadia pick me up and we caught up to each others few days, once more living in the moment a skill I had learned in Denver, prevented me from focusing on the negative instead of the positive. After only 5 days into the new year I was ahead of most people who where to busy writing down their goals, I was instead full on living my goals.Living in the moment will be a skill that I will need in 2008 to make sure that my spirit keeps growing. Living in the moment teaches me to enjoy the journey until I reach my destination.

2007 always a bridesmaid never a bride

Is almost new years eve. Looking back at 2007 I am amaze of how fast everything seemed to happen. Here is a quick outlook at 2007.

Races
the policeman's half, before that race I had never run a race longer than 10K, by then I was running enough I just didn't know if I could run it faster than my training runs.

Calgary Stampede marathon, by now I am feeling a bit more confident, I had decided to try and qualify for Boston, I needed a 3:50:00 to do this, I was so nervous I ended up finishing at 3:39:42, I was going to Boston!






The Death Race, if I was feeling better after my half marathon,after my marathon I was feeling really good, I realized I was in better shape than I gave myself credit when I got up early, run a Marathon, drove home, made lunch for my kids, took them out, drove them to their grandparents a couple of hours away, went out for dinner, all without a problem. then I decided that evening to try an ultramarathon, I wanted to give back to the CNIB before I walked though their doors, running a half marathon didn't seem possible, so running and ultra marathong and collect pledges seem like a great way to give back.The Canadian Death Race was close enough to Calgary that I could be back to work on the Monday after. This was the race that forever changed me, I remember arriving there and realizing I was home, the strangest of it all was all too familiar to me, even though I ended up DNF ing at 94K it stretched my perception of what was humanly possible. By then I was not only a runner but an ultra runner.









Banff Japer Relay, this race was so much fun, I was in an all female team of 13 and we kick butt, winning gold for the all female team division, my leg was about 16K. The scenery was spectacular, it was inspiring been out there in such a beautiful part of Alberta





Five peaks in Canmore, this is an other race that changed the way I view running, trail running was my new passion. After this race I was 100% sure of what I wanted to do, run trails and run ultramarathons.

Winterstart in Banff, this will be my favourite race of 2007. This race was a present from my best friend Nadia for my 40th birthday, the race fell on that weekend, she took me and my kids to Canmore where the 5 boys got to play at the water park while we raced in Banff Saturday night, the race itself was only 5 miles, to make it more exciting I climbed Ha Ling that morning then raced in the evening, if at this point had any doubt about my life and priorities, they all vanished, I was surrounded by people that loved me and it felt amazing, turning 40 was not a lot of fun, but it sure helps to be with friends and family





The Last Chance Half marathon this was my last race of the year and it felt every bit like it. I finish this race tired and with a nagging injury, it was time to cut down in intensity and mileage.




My kids



Karl vision kept deteriorating, at the last parent teacher interview his teacher recommended teaching Karl Braille because he is having trouble keeping up with his classes. His spirits are intact, he discovered wrestling and he had a great time at his meet. Of course I wish Karl had never been diagnosed with a progressive condition that is making him blind and left him visually impaired, even if there where to find a cure there are things that he will never be able to do anymore, but I am thankful that he is taking it the best possible way. We sometimes have no control of what happens but we always have control of what we do about it. Karl is a perfect example of how all you need to have a great life is the right attitude.


Hans too had an amazing year, he straggled a bit at the beginning of the year, he was a bit angry because I had pulled him out of sports, I had a hard time scheduling all the activities. Once Karl's life was under control Hans was able to have more of my attention, he played soccer in the summer then he try out for the Sea Lions Swim team and in a short time he became their little star. His bone scan was abnormal but turned out to be nothing after further testing, Hans has Osteochondroma and has to undergo testing every year. At the end of last year I was unsure of how I was going to find the strength to keep my family from falling apart when all I need was them, Hans and Karl showed me what true strength really is, not the superhero kind of superpower, but the silent, quiet strength that comes from within, all I needed to do is to sit quietly and hear it inside















Love life

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????. Well I had to leave something for 2008

2007 was a year of many highs and some lows, in racing, it seems like I was almost there, like a bridesmaid never the bride. The beauty of almost is that it is that much closer, is all attitude and perception, half empty or half full. My life was definitely only half empty, but I am looking forward to toasting to a a fuller glass next year.

I run therefore I blog

This has been the easiest week to get up at 5am to run. Even when the weather said -25c I couldn't wait to lace up to go out. This week instead of my usual 11 miles I was running 16miles/day. The reason? Scott Dunlap. I am a huge fan and have read his blog for a long time. I have never post a comment, why bother I though, I often feel like the Anna Kournikova of the ultra world. I never wanted him to know who I am, I just wanted to silently admire him form afar like a teenager with a crush.and there I was telling him how much I like his blog and he answer it! His words where kind and encoraging. Well unless you are a runner you probably don't know about him, but to me it was like having Lance Armstrong replying to your fan mail and wishing you luck on your Tour of Bowness. I am amaze of how giving the ultra and trailrunning community really is. I have talked to ultrarunners and they patiently answer my questions, wishing me luck even tough our goals are vastly different. I am a finisher, don't make a mistake and they are the elite. But down the line I feel closeness because is the passion that brings me closer to them, that and the common interest in trying yo figure out the exact point where the body gives up.

Scott has no idea of what kind of influence he had on me, and I am grateful for that! Googling somebody without care on a Saturday night is not the behaviour of a grown woman. But we need heroes, we need people to admire, in a culture where we build people up just to tear them down just as fast is not something I aspire to. But I love when somebody reaches fame and stays humble.

Going extra hard this week was a sign of how much I admire him. Is not like he is ever going to goggle me or anything but somehow I feel the need to do better, and in my runs I have been inspired and even dared to dreamed of finishing first at the Frozen Ass 50K. Now the odds of that happening are pretty slim, let's put it this way, looking at last years photos, I came across a picture of a very cute guy, I soon realized to my panic that it was my competition!. But something shifted, just being out there, being part of it is enough satisfaction for me, I am proud of saying I am an ultrarunner, even though I often get the " why" look it makes me happy. Is not like I need to look very far to find heroes, just looking at Karl and Hans everyday reminds me of the true strenght of the human spirit. I watched a movie of the first and only blind climber to climb Mount Everest and I called Karl to my room at the exact moment when he makes it to the summit, of course I am crying hard, and I would be even if Karl didn't have cone dystrophy. Karl just looked at me and said " what's the big deal?" "he is just blind mom" then it hit me, Karl doesn't see many limitations, I do. I am just in awe of how gracefully my kids are handling the changes in our lives, our world turned upside down a year and a half ago and they handled it with such grace, if you know me well you will know I didn't. But watching my kids everyday has giving me the strenght I needed to move forward. And running has brought joy to my life, out there in the mountains on my own, there is no better feeling that the quietness of my footsteps on a trail. I don't know if I am happy because I run or I run because I am happy. Doesn't really matter. Is out there where I find myself, find who I truly am. A mother, an ultrarunner, a friend, a sister, a daughter and that is good enough for me.

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

The last 2 weeks have been really hard. I pull a tendon on my foot and couldn't run for a couple of weeks. I did everything else to keep sane, swim, row, spin. At one point I realize that I resembled the flight attendant who is trying to quit smoking on the TV ad. My foot has healed enough to resume my running. i am back to just half my mileage, can't over do it, I now run in the morning and bike in the evening, it amounts to the same mileage I was doing but less impact.

Is getting tougher to stay focus, I notice my motivation hasn't diminish, just the focus of my training. I am lacking the fire in my belly. for one thing is cold outside and I am doing a lot of indoor running on my treadmill. which is my favourite thing this week. My True ZI could go out but I don't want to slip again and re injure my foot. Second my next race is the Frozen Ass 50K in February, I was looking forward to it and maybe placing maybe 1st in my age group and then a saw the results. Syl Corbett was first last year, well what are my chances. There are also basically only 2 ages groups categories, under 35 and over 35, that doesn't really narrow it down.

I talked to a Friend of mine about it and I guess the focus of my training should be about finishing, smart tip given that ultras are all about insane endurance, and she is right, I didn't finish the Death Race and at the start of my training that was the focus, somewhere down the lines, as I get stronger, the lines get blurry

I have been talking to a lot of runners on-line and I am amaze of the different reasons people do what they do, some have been doing it for so long that they need no reason at all, is part of their life, just like going to work, or eating, other are like me, it was a way of coping with things such a divorce, the death of a child and such. Is strange that I feel so close to all this strangers, one common bound that keeps us stronger.

Karl and Hans had an amazing weekend, they both had swim meets and at different pools, somehow somewhere around 3pm on Saturday when i am driving from one pool to the other to watch them, cloning seem like a great invention.

Well Hans' meet when as well as his previous meets, he won 3 out of 4 and on Sunday he competed against the 12 year olds, I was lucky enough to volunteer that day, my heart was bursting out of my chest with pride, he looked so tiny compared to the other boys, he manage to place second, his arms and legs went so fast because he had to go that much faster than the other kids, parents around the pool pointed and laughed because he was trying so hard, but he did it, he was very determined and has been working very hard at it. i have seen him at the practices and he is always paying attention and he often begs me to leave him after practice longer and it showed this weekend.

Karl's meet was a lot different but just as successful, he is in Junior Lifeguards. he has never been good at swimming, the only reason why he is there is because the value team work and also because is the only sport he can do at the club. Karl's story was just like the movie Rudy, if you seen it you will know what I mean, he struggled though the whole event, he did win 1st for the rope toss competition, by 5:30 he was exhausted, he had been at the pool with bad lighting and no glasses for hours, the last competition was the 100m swim with obstacles, I was nervous watching him against the other kids. When the other kids where finishing he still had 50m to go, he just kept on going, I stood up and yelled his name, I wanted him to know I was there, so did Hans, all of a sudden the whole place was calling his name and clapping in encouragement, even the guy in the mike calling the events start calling his name. Karl never seems to care much about small things, he believes in trying your best and never giving up. When he finish, he had a standing ovation, parents around me where congratulating me and I was once again filled with pride.When went home that night laughing all the way. I place their new ribbons in their room. first and seconds for Hans and a first and third for Karl, the truth is there where only 3 kids on that competition, it didn't matter to me, he had earned, had he been too intimidated to show up he would never have gotten them.

So now, once again, showing up to my races is a reason for celebrating, I know I will check the results online after my race and maybe will be a bit disappointed, but I know that thanks to Karl and Hans I will always show up, work hard, go the extra mile,and give my best no matter the outcome.

The not so secret

I just finish my last race of 2007. The last chance half marathon. 1:39:04.An improvement from my last half by almost a minute. Not bad since it was a training run, I went on it as tired as I could be, to train my body to respond even when tired. When you run ultras, running tired is a normal thing, so asking my body to perform to such a level after a hard month is what it will prepare me for next summer.

I have decided to add a few more races to 2008. I am looking forward to doing the Swiss Jura marathon, 175K over 7 days or a half a marathon a day for a week , I am so excited I have been reading my race package as a bedtime story.

My best friend Nadia came trail running with me last month, she liked it so much we are talking about running transrockies together in September. That is 3 ultra in three months for me , Swiss Jura, the Death Race and Transrockies.

I have a idea on how I plan on accomplishing this, in two words, hard work. I feel it's a possibility, only because I see myself doing the work day after day. Now, I am not a big fan of the book the secret about positive thinking, I am old school. If you work hard at it, you can accomplish about anything.I don't want to sit at home and visualize myself on the race, I do it every time I go out for a run, or a power hike, a core session, every time I do I workout, I can see myself closer to my goal.

That's why the Secret is not my favourite book, for inspiration, I flip though Trail Running magazine or watch shows like Everest- Beyond the limit.

My favourite thing this week is friends. I just had a birthday,I turned 40 to be exact, and its friends that make times like that special, for my birthday, Nadia took me and my kids to Canmore and we raced Winterstart together, as I looked around I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than that, with friends, family, a race and beer afterwards in a parking lot.

As for not believing in the Secret, I do keep an empty drawer in my bedroom just in case.

Love that is not madness is not love

What a week it has been. I was out last night and I was amaze how hard is not to obsess. I don't think that I don't like to go out because I am OC about running. I really don't like it. I enjoy an intimate dinner party, movies, theatre, music. Is just the big impersonal parties that I feel like fish out of water. What can I possible have in common with a bunch of strangers that the whole goal of the evening is to get a s drunk as possible or hooking up with somebody before you friends do?
Nothing wrong but I don't like drinking much and I am want to go home alone since my kids are gone to a friends house and I am looking forward to an interrupted night of sleep.. Am I just terrible wrong?
Except for that my life is going great. Karl is getting all the help he needs at school. St. James is doing a lot more that they are required to do by law and I could not be more grateful. Karl comes home beaming everyday showing me all the special books or showing me all the equipment he is getting to help him be independent in school. Things like large font text books, extra light in his locker, a colored volleyball with a bell inside, a CCTV computer to enlarge text to any book at school. I am very grateful because he feels empowered. I don't want to sound like Oprah here but that is what a child like Karl needs.
There was a minor bump on the road, Karl has giving up riding his bike and is bothering him. I explained best I could that even as a fully able person, we still by choice don't do everything we are physically able to do, we still choose only the things that appeal to us, so in the greater scope of things he still was doing as much as anybody else, the only difference is the choice was being made for him. There are a lot of things that he still could do and concentrating on that was not a less courageous thing, it was just practical. Karl has been so determine to show himself and everybody around him that this is not going to stop him that he is not giving himself a break. So after talking to Hans we came up with perfect alternative tandem bike, Karl loved the idea, although he question my driving skills, Hans complained that he could never beat us since it was two against one. I love my family, I love that we are able to look after each other.
Hans had an amazing week as well, he did amazing yesterday at his first swim meet and won a couple. Greg and I sat there beaming with pride, seemed very normal until other parent came to congratulate me and my husband for Hans. "He is not my husband", I replied, "he is my ex'.. I didn't want to say my ex boyfriend because it sounds like it was just a casual hook up, I must as well say, this ex convict I dated for a couple of weeks.. To my kids he is like a stepdad" you mean your ex husband?".." Hans' dad?" " no, he is my other ex"... " I guess you can call him the exstepdad" .. I some how felt like Elizabeth Taylor and I was on my third husband by now. I guess looking from the outside it might be a bit unconventional.There is a reason why people decide it is not working for the two of you. but how about the kids? what do they have to do with it? They have a completely different relationship with that person and that's what I see.Their relationship was working amazingly well. I asked my kids a few month ago how they where feeling about the whole thing and they said that their biggest fear was never been able to see Greg again. That's when I knew I was doing the right thing.Is their relationship, they decide when is enough.

I am ready for my trail run, I went to Barrier lake last Sunday and I felt butterflies in my stomach, I get such a trill to be out there in nature running on my own. Is my favourite thing to do. I am waiting for my Garmin 305 to come, a present to myself for my birthday in a couple of weeks. I am exited about trail running and I would like to track my performance better, is becoming a bit trickier now since i also started my class from university, I can't just endlessly run, I need to train smart and accommodate studying on top of kids, their schedule and work.
Last night talking to a few people I felt uncomfortable, is not my world at all. Is not where I belong, I belong here in my life, with my kids,and doing all those things that make me happy, taking care of them,looking after them. I know they are growing and ready to go out in their own, that's why I run, that is the thing I do for me, it will be there when they leave.
At this moment I enjoy being there mother and taking care if them, I wish I could put them on a tandem bike forever and take them around their life with me protecting them from all their challenges they are sure to face. But my role is to love them as much as I do then let them go and be there when they need me.