Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Atacama crossing

It's been a few months since my last blog and so much has change but some things have also remained the same.

I am still very determined to climb all 7 summits in about 12 months, that hasn't changed. If anything my commitment has strengthen. I am also scheduled to run Atacama Crossing Monday 7th to the 13th. You are probably aware of the situation in Chile, the earthquake meant that very few flights are entering the country. My trip was canceled and I have to come clean, I had been delaying booking my flight because I am permanently waiting on cheques to arrive, i am still not working and i depend on sponsors to get to the races and cover the expenses( OK, and people like my best friend who gives me money for groceries because she says she believes in me), there is no room ever in my bank account to cover the expenses until the money arrives. I am sure I am not alone here, that's the reason most people choose to work instead of following their passion. this has cause some concerns from my family and I have to agree that maybe i would feel the same if I wasn't in my shoes, there is one factor that determines why i can't work full time or even part time unless is flexible, Karl's condition is getting more complicated, as you all know he has BBS and he is struggling as school as well now, he is working very hard yet he is failing at school. The day he got his report card was a bad day for him, he couldn't understand why he is still not passing," i sit and the front, pay attention, participate and work hard, i don't understand why i am still failing" he told me. I told Karl that we where going to fight this together, that i was proud of him and that yes we needed to work even harder but it was either that or giving up and that's not what i want for him. He is doing so much better now, i guess he just needed to feel understood, that he is not alone. sometimes shame isolates us, we all feel alone only because we are afraid to show how vulnerable we are. Fortunately i wear my emotions on my sleeve, i am Latin, we are not good at hiding our emotions, for better or for worse and if you are my best friend or boyfriend sometimes is for the worse.

I am off to Chile tomorrow and it's been a mad scramble to get there. i will have to flight to Salta Argentina, it will take me 42 hrs to get there then I have to take a 14hr bus ride to San Pedro de Atacama, before you think i am highly motivated to my cause this time it was people around me that made it happen, i went to bed several times thinking that there was no way to make it happen just to find my email box full of people that wanted to help. Even childcare proved to be a problem, when I lost the person that was intended to stay with me, then my sister Muneca, My best friend Nadia and Susan a friend and also a single parent rally up to cover the days that I will be gone, it was like watching them build a quilt, taking blocks of days back and forth until all days where covered. I also heard from people I have never met helping me find the best possible fare and option to get to the race, it was overwhelming how people come together so fast, i feel incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by such amazing people in my life. If you ever been to my house you will know that i have no money but i think of myself as a very successful person, i see my life meaningful, the friendships I have from and the bonds that i have with the people closes to me are invaluable. Yes, this is ultimately what i need to do for my son but it also turned out to be the best decision i have made, i watched my investments shrink by the bad economy but wealth in the quality of people aroudn me has increase substantially.
My boyfriend Charlie Engle will be blogging for me on both sites, I will eventually be migrating to the Not Afraid Of Greatness blog (BTW, that's the picture of Karl at age 11 when he was diagnosed) my Mexican running wild days are not over but I am looking forward to seeing my sons been more involved in the fund that was born from the amazing generosity of people that wanted to help me fight blindness. Charlie has also been an amazing support on many areas,such mentoring me on fund raising, he is very passionate about having an impact on such issues as clean water for everybody to child obesity, and lets face it he makes me feel normal, having run very successfully the races that I am running he is a source of knowledge that i have to say is an unfair advantage.

Well, i know is not thanksgiving but I am so thankful for everybody for helping me make sure my son and other people kids for that matter, will be OK, when I set out to do the runs and fundraise i wanted to do my part as a thank you to the charities that helped me stand up when I found myself fallen, but the more i want to give thanks the more I am in debt from all the generosity.

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
-- Oprah Winfrey

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